“If she told me she saw Jesus I would have believed her.
I just can’t believe a burgler would come into the apartment”
- our Landlady, after the downstairs apartment break-in
We don’t know where our landlady is really from, and how on earth she ended up living here for the last 20 or so years, but I think that if you were not brought up with the local island flavouring it turns you into a bit of an eccentric.
From time to time I could swear the apartment is under video surveillance, because this woman seems to hear and know everything.
I find myself looking up at the ceiling and wondering if that little screw hole actually contains a screw or some expensive monitoring system, taping me to make sure I don’t put anything on the walls (which are repainted every semester I might add).
She pops up at the most inconvenient of times– this stiff, awkward, emaciated looking woman.
She chides us on endless minutiae and talks circles around her points, while we try to find ways to placate her neuroticisms.
Each of us has our own theory about this lady.
My roommate has jested that she is the source of attempted burglary.
Dressed as a catwoman, she scales our balcony at night, trying to break into the apartment (or watch for Jesus sightings).
My theory is that she is harboring some sort of parasitic worm that has emaciated her body and is working its way through her brain.
What ever her story may be, there are a few missing screws from the wheel, and I’m wondering when its going to teeter off.
3 comments:
Dana,
I had a difficult time understanding all the medical terminology you used in your description, but I think I know what you're trying to say
"THE LANDLADY IS A CRAZY GYPSY BITCH"
haha dana did beatrice really say that? what a nutjob!
that was by me, megan, by the way, i don't know why it's calling me anonymous
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