La(m)b

One of the classes we have this semester is advanced clinical skills, in which we are beginning to learn all of the different standard physical examinations. We’re divided into groups of 7 people, and we crowd into a tiny cubicle which has an ‘examining table’. And so twice a week we have lab sessions in which we poke and prod each other, trying to train our crude senses. As the labs have progressed, we’ve targeted people for their ‘special-ness’ to practice the clinical exams we’ve learned. We’ve been lucky to have a person with an regularly irregular pulse rhythm, as well as some interesting heart sounds (bradycardia with skipped beats). Apparently my pupils are large which has allowed my untrained group members to actually follow vessels around in my eyes (I’ve only been blinded a few times), and the older guy in our group is always eager to whip off his shirt whenever required. The other component is properly reporting our findings….this was the best one I’ve heard so far:
“There is evidence of nasal hair providing patient protection”…..lol, even the tutor laughed.

Tonight I got to visit the University Club, which is exclusively reserved for faculty and staff of SGU (it helps to know the right people). The restaurant was beautiful, and the food was phenomenal. The chef is actually the husband of our microbiology professor (so you know that the proper precautions are taken in food preparation). Of course after last week's dinner, I couldn’t help but indulge in perfectly seared lamb.

Now this is decadance

My green-eyed monster

Living with females is not always easy (not for the obvious reasons). This semester I live with two pint-sized Asians, who both probably have an easier time clothes shopping in children’s stores. So every now and then I am compelled to curse my ancestral nomad genetics (my legs could walk thousands of miles with what they store), and my Serbian fighting-nation genes (I can build muscle faster than some guys I know).
Consciously it doesn’t bother me, as most of the time I feel content with my shape. My fitness goals have evolved from just numbers and percentages, to overall feelings and challenges to improve strength, flexibility, and endurance. I have also become increasingly aware (anal) of what I put into my body to attain the healthiest version of myself. Generally I love fresh, healthy food and finding new ways to combine them together.

So it’s frustrating for me to watch these two tiny girls eat these deliciously addictive foods such as cookies, chocolate, candy, chips, white rice, noodles, anything fried, etc on a daily basis because:
a) I know from experience that as soon as I begin to eat the refined carbs and processed foods my metabolism goes into turtle speed, my sugar tolerance goes way up, and chemically I am imbalanced which affects my energy levels and outward perceptions (Gollum thoughts as I like to call them).
b) Omigod, do you know some of the havoc this stuff wreaks on your organs and tissues? Ack! Doesn’t anyone think about their arteries, bone density, pancreas, or liver???
c) I really have to bust my ass in the gym (99% of the time I absolutely love), but on the days I have to kick my own butt out the door I wish I could temporarily de-couple my electron transport chain (sorry that was a nerdy biochem comment on my part).

So when I start behaving as many females do (comparing themselves to everything else!) I remind myself that my body is strong and healthy, I feel happy, and I’ve got some good things to look forward to – who else can brag their mommy has a 6-pack?

My hero

The dorms that we live in are 100% concrete. What this means is that every time someone in the next room, or directly above lazily drags out their chair, or walks around in say – heels, 99% of the time, you can hear it….and it’s annoying. So yesterday, while studying, there was a knock on the door. The voice was that of a nice young gentleman, kindly requesting the girl who wears heels all the time to please wear flip-flops in the dorm, as he and his roommates are having a hard time concentrating from all the noise. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Thank you to the guy who lives below us, you are my hero.

***if you are wondering why I didn’t make a similar request I do not have the time nor understanding to explain the complicated sensitivity of how some females perceive things from other females, and the possible ramifications that could have resulted.

Untitled

Every now and then, a week will go by, and I have no stories or observations – basically nothing interesting to write about. Classes are going well, but exhaustingly busy. I love what we’re learning, even though some of it is painful to sit through. So when I get a bit of writer’s block, or do not have a fluffy reflection I start to write in stupid. I have quite a collection of just odd musings that could be referred to as the “uncut, uncensored, and fundamentally strange to read about”. The following post is one of those moments.

How to make Mondays more enjoyable.

The beginning of the week. The dread of all the work that lies in front of you. It’s not so much the work I dread, it’s the prospect of having to sit in class and lab for hours on end. So how do you make my Mondays more enjoyable? You pick a day later on in the week and put the most unenjoyable thing you can think of on that day. Eventually, if you psych yourself out enough for the dreaded day you can start experiencing psychosomatic tendendies – ie stomach cramps (I haven’t psyched myself out that much about it – but its possible). So every Thursday I dread getting up, putting on my running shoes and going outside under the hot beating sun. Thursday are sprinting days – not jogging, or running, but flat out timed sprints. Although the self inflicted pain usually only takes 20 min. to complete, it is often followed by profuse sweating, extreme shortness of breath (the one with exaggerated sounds), and sometimes nausea, dizziness, and cramping (depending on how hot it is). Anyways, mid-semester the Thursday dread starts to wear off as the sprinting becomes more routine, so to keep the positive outlook for Mondays, I change to hill sprints, which have always carried me through till the end of the semester.Unfotunately since this post, I had to switch sprinting to Tuesdays….so Mondays suck even more now.

If you think that post was bad, you’re lucky I didn’t put the one up describing the grossness of the casein protein I was taking last semester.

Anyways, last night a group of us were treated to the ‘popular vegetarian restaurant’ which was very nice and flavourful. But, as a passionate carnivore (although I haven't had red meat since I've been down here) I thought it was way overhyped – somehow a dish of curried chickpeas just doesn’t have the same effect as a perfectly seared rack of lamb.

And yes, the amount of studying we do makes us only a little crazy.

My first blood

On Friday night I was asked to help out with health fair training. I instructed people at the glucose testing station, but there were stations on how to take blood pressure, do breast exams, eye and ear tests, and phlebotomy (and no, it has nothing to do with a lobotomy). So, after the people began to pan out, I decided to go take a crash course in drawing blood. I first practiced on a dummy arm which seemed easy enough (they even had fake blood that would fill the tube if you did it correctly). Then two of my pathology group members generously offered their veins to me (I made a mental note to bake them something). The first thought that came to mind was how I wished I could somehow practice on myself instead of having to hurt someone else. But then I remembered how I cannot stand seeing my own blood (I figured this out after accidentally dropping a knife onto my foot, and saw my blood pooling on the floor). So…..I tied the tourniquet onto my first volunteer, and crudely palpated for her veins…..they felt a lot deeper than my veins…..oh well, I guess the needle will have to go a little deeper. I drew a pen line over where I thought it was…..swabbed the area…..then proceeded to insert the needle. Apparently I didn’t go deep enough. Nothing - I didn’t even get her to bleed from the needle pick (damn – I was hoping to be a ‘one stick wonder’). I didn’t have it in my heart to stab her again (she’s such a happy person). The next set of veins offered to me were definitely more attractive….I could work with these. The first time (yes I’m afraid to say I had to stick her twice), I uncapped the 21-gauge needle and slowly stuck it into her arm (you’re not supposed to be slow about it because it will hurt more). Again, I was unsuccessful – at least she bled a little from where I had put the needle in. Then, they brought me over a butterfly needle – which is apparently smaller, easier to learn on, and hurts less (geez people, why do we have to make things painfully difficult!). Finally, on my third try I almost got everything right. I successfully penetrated the vein and drew my first blood. Unfortunately, I got so excited about finally getting some, I prematurely withdrew the needle before I undid the tourniquet. Oops.

Another year older

So I celebrated the b-day a couple days ago (1/4 century baby), and I honestly was dreading the day. Not because of the age thing – more of the isolation thing (geographically and self-induced). I seriously thought that it would be a good day if I could make it through without spontaneously springing a leak. Wow, it was quite the opposite turn of events. During my pathology lab (1/2 the class is there), somehow one of my group members found out, and wished me happy b-day over the mic (I thought I had my blushing problem under control), it was so nice! Anyways, even though it was supposed to be an off day from the gym, I gave in for a good run – heck it was my birthday (yeah yeah, I’m addicted to endorphins so what). That evening, I was really just content to study in my room and was even looking forward to treating myself to an early bedtime after a long week - when there was a knock on my door. My roommates and friends had a cake, and were singing ‘happy birthday’ (the only thing missing was the stripper) – I was so surprised!!! I haven’t felt that warm fuzzy feeling in my heart for a while. I felt so flattered, and moved (sigh).
And yeah, I know that was a moment of mushiness (deal with it).

As you can see, even though I am getting older my lung capacity is in peak condition.

Why do some girls end up with wretched boys.....

Okay, so this post has nothing to do with med school perse....but stuff happens that makes me reflect on things....and I like to write....so if you feel you're missing out on a mentioning of something med related - check out this website:
Oculocephalic reflex

So many times I have watched girlfriends make such awful decisions in choosing the boy they will lend their affections to. We watch in horror and respect; in horror of the bad feeling we get when he’s around and wondering how our friend could like such a stomach twisting person, and in respect for her feelings in seeing how happy she appears when she’s with him. It seems that the progression of many young women’s relationships almost always starts with dating the disrespectful asshole (this is usually taken care of during our teen years), then we learn from our mistakes and move on. But why is that? Well,

a) attention!!!
b) younger women are totally insecure and have no clue what to expect (tip for the older guys if you’re feeling insecure and incompetent of pleasing a woman, target the younger crowd).
c) what if we don’t find someone after him and we’re alone forever? (yeah, far-fetched but its always in the back of the mind).

So what’s the math behind that one friend that cannot seem to learn from the same first mistake we all learned from a long time ago?
As obnoxious as Howard Stern can be, he is right on the money every time he has a stripper/porn star on his show (not for the sex appeal) – he always asks them about the relationship they have with their father…..no surprises, its always either non-existent or abusive in some way shape or form.

The friends that I’ve observed who have a hard time finding the upstanding men generally do not have the best of relationships with their father or lack thereof. For some reason, this seems to have a detrimental effect on the self-worth a women has, and it always seems to land her with doomed relationships. I can reflect inwardly on my own life…..during my asshole dating period (ok only 1 asshole – I’m a quick learner with a feministic mother) I had a strained relationship with the Tata, and it was reflected on my personal choices. The honest, caring, and virtuous young men were not hard to find once my father and I straightened things out. Plus, I like to keep the ‘I can kick your ass’ mind-set (from my father of course), which usually scares off the player types.

Warning - f bomb

I am paying oh I dunno….50+ grand a year to learn….and I’m getting (or not getting) f-ing bonus points for filling in a freakin’ scantron perfectly. WTF??!!! I’ll have you know that I won colouring contests for my abilities to stay in the lines and shade where deemed appropriate. Well, f-you people, you can take your f-ing bonus point and put ‘em wear the sun don’t shine because I DON’T NEED THEM ANYWAYS!!!!!

Oooo I get so mad sometimes.

Revelations

Since high school I’ve wavered between trying to figure out what I am comfortable with about myself, and what makes me the person that I am. Sometimes these things are hard to figure out, because we really have to admit to ourselves what we truly want - what defines us, versus what the façades are we put on display for other people to find where we fit in. Learning to be truly comfortable by oneself to figure that out is not an easy thing, and some people never accomplish it until there are an overwhelming amount of complications in doing so. Going away to medical school, especially coming here – a place filled with more bizarre people than you can imagine has really forced me to define myself. I can say that I am more confident and content with who I am, and even though it can get lonely at times, I am more comfortable with all of the ‘imperfections’ that make me. I can ironically say that nothing in my life has gone smoothly, or as planned, but in the process of it all I am becoming the perfect version of the imperfect me.

**I would like to dedicate this post to Megan, and the perhaps the vodka we drank together last night which inspired this stark moment of seriousness on my blog. And of course, not to disappoint – here is a picture of the two sexiest biatches on the island.

Breathing out

I made it through the first set of midterms. Had pathology on Monday (it went well), and I just finished microbiology today (hopefully I can say the same). They seemed more serious this semester as we were even provided with a pencil and eraser for the test (I was a little disappointed because I have an attachment to my trusty pencil which has carried me all the way through last year). Anyways, they also stipulated (in writing) that we could not leave until the end of 3 hours for our pathology exam. This is the worst possible torture for me, as I am practically always one of the first people to finish writing - I’m a speed reader and never question my responses unless I absolutely have no idea (which of course is rare…..). So after having to take a 70 min nap during the path exam I was a little worried the same thing would happen for micro. Thankfully, it didn’t which allowed me some time in the dorm to crank up the speakers, put on my bathing suit and do some serious celebratory dancing before the roommates returned (you would too if you were stuck inside studying for the last 1.5 weeks straight).

100 things about me

Because you really really wanted to know.....and I had nothing better to do.
1. I can only wink with my right eye (don’t ask me to even try with my left, cause I look like a ‘tard).
2. I love myself the most when I’m eating healthy and workout out on a daily basis.
3. I dislike myself the most when I’m lazy.
4. I can fit my fist in my mouth, and touch my tongue to my nose.
5. I like making bread, but I don’t like eating it.
6. I like to cook for people.
7. I have a hard time naming things when people ask me my favourites.
8. I don’t like pop.
9. I can make a clover shape out of my tongue.
10. Cheese is one of my favourite food items.
11. I’m unable to ‘hork’ (I think that’s a good thing, as I think it’s the most disgusting sound ever).
12. I love waking up early and enjoying a peaceful morning.
13. I feel the most empowered lifting in the gym.
14. I abhor bicep isolation exercises.
15. Even though I dislike my thighs, I like to think that with the right costume, I could look like a female action character from a comic book.
16. If I am walking alone, I tend to hum to myself.
17. I love watching training scenes in any sort of action movie.
18. I’ve never had braces.
19. I love reading about technology specs if I’m planning on buying.
20. I am a very independent person (I realize I can only count on myself).
21. If I was abandoned on a desert island with only one thing to eat for the rest of my life it would be ice cream.
22. Everything I’ve always been meaning to organize comes to the forefront of my mind during test times.
23. My left hip flexor is more flexible than my right.
24. I love putting on eye makeup.
25. I don’t like chewing gum (but I’ll chew through an entire pack in less than an hour the night before a test).
26. I hate crying in front of people, or showing any vulnerability for that matter.
27. One day I would love to write a book regarding women’s health.
28. When I was younger I named some of my moles (the one on my right lower calf is mark).
29. I listen to classical piano music or Italian tenors when I study.
30. I’ve gone to the theatre to watch movies by myself, if no one else has wanted to go (it’s a pretty non-social outing anyways, so who cares).
31. I have yet to attend a post secondary education graduation (even though I apparently have 3 degrees).
32. I have contemplated burning my master’s degree, and the thesis that went with it.
33. I would like to do a triathlon in the near future.
34. When I am running I visualize I am being attacked to run faster.
35. I relate more easily to guys (so do all of my girlfriends – that’s why we’re friends!)
36. I cannot relate to females who complain of menstrual problems.
37. I like spicy food.
38. I don’t believe in soul mates.
39. I do believe in karma.
40. I am always shy and reserved at first.
41. I admire and look up to my brothers for entirely different things (even though I’m the eldest).
42. I don’t like loud sounds or yelling.
43. I love my breasts and the side profile of my bubble butt.
44. I easily laugh at myself, and my own jokes (yeah I know its gay).
45. I am very critical at times.
46. The television makes me sleepy.
47. I hope to be married with children one day, but if not I will accept that it is God’s plan for me.
48. When I was a child I was scared of dying from a gun or knife wound (WTF????)
49. I’m good at seeing both sides of a situation which makes it hard for me to get angry with people.
50. On the other hand it makes me indecisive about a lot of things.
51. I’ve been eating oatmeal and protein powder everyday for breakfast for the last 2.5 years.
52. I am always working towards finding the balance that works for me (mind, body, spirit).
53. I’m still not quite sure how to refer to myself (is it Dana or ‘Donna’ – geez parents!).
54. If you leave me alone with a mirror, I flex and pose.
55. I believe that proper nutrition and exercise would solve 90% of all the health-related problems in the Western world.
56. I dislike gossip (unless it’s in the tabloids!)
57. There’s nothing better than sitting in front of a crackling fire in the winter when it’s cold.
58. The weirdest things I’ve done while studying is duct-tape waxed a patch of hair off my arms (I’m easily distractible).
59. I’ve put myself into a chocolate coma.
60. I don’t like the combination of tomatoes and green peppers in a salad.
61. If I am completely alone, I am perpetually singing.
62. When I feel nervous or shy I tuck my hair behind my ear on the left side and giggle a lot.
63. I learned how to swallow food whole when I was 4 (melted spinach was being forced upon me).
64. I’d rather just not talk to a person than be fake.
65. When I’m bored in class I flex my pectoral muscles because I can.
66. I’m a little slow in referring to right/left side, because I always think of it in terms or treble/bass cleft on a piano (I know really bizarre).
67. I dislike the smells of peanut butter and popcorn (but I like to eat them).
68. The harder the material, the more likely I am to learn it well.
69. There is separation between the bones in my right ankle from injuring it so many times (so it looks bigger than my left).
70. I’ve had both of my elbows dislocated at once.
71. My best dancing is done after a workout getting ready for the shower.
72. I can’t stand cigarette smoke (yay Ontario – prohibition!).
73. I’ve been in love.
74. I’ve had my heart broken.
75. I’ve broken hearts.
76. I’ve watched a friend die.
77. I’ve always wanted to find a kitten hiding in my closet.
78. I’ve hid from my mother in my closet (that was a good beating afterwards).
79. I hated piano competitions (Kiwanis ughhh).
80. I used to compose piano music with lyrics.
81. I like playing 1-1 ball with the boys (you can be aggressive without having anyone take it personally).
82. One of the things I like most about living in Grenada is lack of materialism.
83. I’m a huge goofball at heart (this is an extremely well guarded trait).
84. I like words that are not used everyday.
85. I detest Americanized spelling.
86. I can be extremely sarcastic.
87. Apparently I have certain hand motions when I talk, that include rubbing my palms together on a horizontal plane.
88. I’m allergic to sulfa drugs.
89. and Dr. Pepper (which is ok because of #8).
90. and certain types of soy products.
91. If I were to describe myself in one word it would be ‘resilient’.
92. I become a ‘dumb blonde’ when I drink (for some reason my friends love it).
93. I like cheesy alliterations and puns.
94. I own a lot of perfumes but seldom wear them.
95. I have a low tolerance for illogical thought processes.
96. and voluntary ignorance.
97. One of my favourite authors is D.H. Lawrence.
98. When I wear my digital watch it is always on 24 hr time.
99. I wrote this entire list while studying for my path exam.
100. Yes, I am easily distracted, and hopefully it went alright.

Midterm time

So, as per request (from a comment that was left!) here are some “action” shots of how I spend most of my time.

Study position #332 – observe the intense look of concentration and ponderance.

Study position #201 – getting interesting…. “That’s so cool, I’ve always wondered how that worked”

Study position #649 – giving my bum a rest and abs a test (I couldn’t resist the rhyme).

Study position #084 – okay, I’m getting tired of reading.

The hazard of sitting on the ball – inevitably I forget that balls roll, so when I stand up to grab a book, and then go to sit back down again, the ball has already rolled away, and as a result, my coccyx (tailbone) is nicely bruised.

My entreaty

So every week I put up a post or two, then a few days later, I check to see how many people actually read it (yes I have a counter). And every week I am pleasantly surprised to see that there are actually people reading it (although, outside of a few relatives I really don’t know who reads this). Here’s what my problem is - no one (with the exception of 1 person every now and then) leaves me any feedback/comments, which is making me wonder the following:

a) I truly am a geeky bizarre person, with thoughts and experiences un-relatable to anything anyone has thought of or done.
b) You’re all a bunch of scaredey cats who don’t want their names or identities revealed (you read my blog like you would a dirty magazine).
c) What the hell would you comment on anyways?

The first one I have no solution to. Yes, I write some pretty ridiculous things on here, many of them I do think/do, others are entirely for my own amusement (and I hope yours as well).

The second point, lets pretend that you all have blogs, and that I wanted to remain as an anonymous poster – in which I could do two of the following.
1) Just choose to put the name ‘anonymous’ in the username option, or
2) Choose a nickname depending on what context you know me in – sort of like an inside joke. For example, (if I was posting on your blog) I might refer to myself as: Gumbi, Boxout Barbie, Dumbbelldiva, Techbunny, Big D, Partner in crime, Apostosinger, Godiva.

Okay, for the third point – true, what would you comment on? I’m grasping for straws here. Here are some generic comments (now that I’ve used them, you can’t):
“nice to see you’re doing well”
“Wow, this post is gay”
“lol” – its good to know you bring a smile to someone’s face

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest I anticipate 1 of 2 things:
1) I get a flooding of cheesy impersonal comments for the next few posts (to placate my insecurities), and then nothing again.
2) I get no comments at all (and we pretend I never wrote this post) or one from my mother.

SUNdays

Alright, alright, so I really made an effort to get a picture for you people (Nick you better appreciate this). If you remember the photo from last year around the same time – it’s the same $&!*, different book.

So, in case you were wondering how my Sundays have been unfolding, here is my day today:

7:00am - wake up, put on bathing suit, and go sleep some more in the sun.
8:30am - wake up again, look out into the ocean and wish I was a mermaid (you laugh, but we’ve all thought of it some time or another).
8:45am - jump in the water to cool off.
9:00am - dry off and head back to the dorm.
9-10am - shower, clean, and assemble breakfast for friend so we can do path slides.
11am - finish slides, study (eat again somewhere in between).
3pm - circuit training with the Kung fu master (I am still a grasshopper).
4pm - shower #2, begin dinner preparation for entire weeks meals.
5pm till bedtime - study, fidget, dawdle, and study again.

**Please disregard my posting times, as no matter what time zone I set for my blog, it won't change**

Filler

Another busy week has gone by, and sometimes it seems that no matter how much work I get done, the amount left is endless. Even though I took med micro during my undergrad, it never ceases to amaze me of how much I cannot remember. I attribute this to the teaching style of the professor, and the nature of the material. We were basically given hundreds of questions for the entire semester that he would choose from for the midterm and final, so potentially if you memorized them all you could get perfect. This type of learning is just not conducive to retaining information, so I hope after I finish the course more of the material stays in my head. Pathology is well under way, and our group dynamics seem to be pretty good. This is very important because once our advanced clinical skills labs start I will be spending four hours a day, everyday with these people. We’re not as efficient as I’d like us to be, but I play nice with the group and then do the material on my own – for me to really learn things I have to figure them out for myself, I sort of tune out when someone’s trying to explain something (perhaps a reflexive instinct from my childhood).

Anyways, I have no new pictures of anything remotely exciting (unless you count the one I took of my rear delt the other day, but seriously, who wants to see that?). If I take some this weekend, I’ll be sure to post them up.

Sparkles?

I was getting “dressed up” to go out last night. We live in Grenada, the fanciest possible place you can go to is probably the rip-off resort restaurant that I wrote about last semester. So my idea of looking somewhat decent here is the “good jeans” and a push-up bra under my shirt. For some others, this is what they’ll study in, while wearing wedge heels. So when I asked the new roommate if my outfit looked alright her response was that I looked a little too casual for going to a bar (think Johnny Shots caliber), and needed something sparkly (by the way, I had a ‘casual jean skirt’ on, with a white halter top, and my bandolino’s).

Sparkly.
Right.
Me, the girl who will wear my ripped jeans, a soccer jersey, adidas kicks, and a baseball hat to class.
Plus, who needs sparkles if you have boobs.

Inappropriate conversations

There have been quite a few conversations I’ve had recently with a certain person that I really do not know that well. I don’t start the conversations, nor do I lead them anywhere, but she persists on bringing up somewhat inappropriate comments/stories/questions. When I begin to hear them I internalize my cringe reaction, and swallow the caustic sarcasm that so often surfaces to my tongue. What do I do? I’ve attempted avoidance when possible. I try hard not to laugh. I am soooooo tempted to fabricate a horrifyingly inappropriate conversation/question for this person just for my own amusement – but I’m worried what else could possibly be unleashed. I’m not one to be grossed-out/prudish/ultra-religious……but damn, there are some things that should not be shared…..with anyone.

Gripes, rants, and annoyances

To:

Whiny annoying girl - nobody likes a whiner. Please cease and desist.

Morning gym boy – yes you’ve told me you’re name twice and I still can’t remember. STOP STARING AT ME.

Skinny fat girl at the gym – get off the gyno machine. It’s a waste of metal used to pump up the adductor muscles of bodybuilders before a show. AND THAT’S IT.

Long winded path girl – who are you, and how did you get in our path group? Stop reading us paragraphs off your slides while pointing to each word (we can read).

Stress boy – Yes I’m aware of how much work we have – we’re in all the same classes, the last thing I care about is how much info you can spout off.

Dormguest – please go home, you’re impinging on my afternoon naked time after a sweaty workout.

80s party girls

Megan and I celebrated our 1 year 80s anniversary. God help us if that fashion era ever returns.

Getting into the groove

So 4th term is well underway, we have started the infamous ‘Pathology lab’, and I can already see how time consuming the work will be for it. I have become machine-like, running on endorphin highs which push me through my days (I’m waiting for the elative feelings to wear off). I spent last Sunday preparing 15 tupperwared meals, ready to consume, study/workout nutrient optimized (I even calculated the macros, and no, I’m not OCD). Not so bad, the worst part was washing and chopping all the vegetables. The gym finally started opening up at 6am again, and most days our classes don’t start until 9. So, I don’t have to become too hardcore yet on the early mornings (thankfully). My body is aching from getting back into the weight routine, as I've been silently crying my way up the hill to class in the morning.

This weekend is the 80s party (I posted about it last year around the same time), I can’t wait to see all the crazy outfits – I’ll have to raid some people’s closets to figure something out for myself (good thing I have bangs though, I can’t wait to tease them!). I have a feeling my posts are going to be pretty bland this semester, as I don’t seem to have a lot of extra time to reflect on much (except what we learned in class).

There and back again.

How was my summer? Hmmm…..otherwise than being entirely too short, with definitely not enough rest, I think the best way to describe certain parts of it can be through a list of random farm memories:

1. Waking up and washing my face with collected rain water.
2. Hiking across the side of a mountain, and jumping barbed wire fences to get back to the farm after a night on the town.
3. Observing cow placenta
4. Doing a beetle check before getting into bed.
5. Showering on less than 2 gallons of water, while kneeling so the water would hit me.
6. Tossing 80 lbs bails of hay and stacking them in barns.
7. Taking out the cows in the morning.
8. Swimming in a marshy river with some sort of water worms.
9. Drinking more beer and turkish coffee in 12 days than an entire year.
10. Cooking on a wood burning stove.
11. Shelling endless piles of peas.
12. Going to a celebratory picnic involving a rock throwing competition.
13. Loving every second of it!!!

I’m back now, and we’ve started classes and lab. I feel like I’m in a horror movie where you’re waiting for the killer to jump out and murder someone. Except I’m just eagerly(?) anticipating the work we’ll have this semester. When I arrived in Grenada they were celebrating Carnivale (no clue what it’s for). Friends and I went to catch part to the parade which consisted of some interesting and colourful costumes, lots of glitter, and some insane booty-shaking to soca music and steel drum bands. Anyways, I’m getting back into routine and starting to pump myself up for the work. Bring it on.

They were booty-shaking under that flower together - soooo cute!

Epilogue to the year

I’m home (for 66 hours). And nothing at all has changed (except its fish fly season – ughhhh), in fact there was still Christmas candy on my desk that I was sure someone would eat. After a long day of traveling, my stomach was bothering me a bit, and of course my father’s cure all for any type of ailment is some type of alcohol. Just as Slivovica (plum brandy) can fight SARS, fevers, colds, aches, chills, and pretty much any other type of problem, homemade wine cures stomachaches (who needs med school if you can distill your own alcohol). As happy as I am to be back, I felt sad that I missed out on some of the events this year – festivals, tournaments, showers, carrousel – I really missed that sense of community and belonging.

Since, I am now off the island and out of school for a bit I won’t be posting for the next little while (Eurotrip 2006 yeah baby!). I have to say that I’m really excited to do some good hard manual labor on the farm – the possibilities are endless, raking hay, weeding the potato field, watching the sheep (okay not so labor intensive, but you have to be vigilant for the snakes….). Anyways, I have to go finish packing (again), see you all when I get back!

Contentment

I’m done, I made it through 6 months here, and I can’t believe in 6 short weeks I’ll be back. If you can remember from my first post of the January semester, I came back not looking forward to much here on the island. Everyday I have dutifully crossed off another day from my calendar, and numbered my weekends, and I would sigh staring at those double digit numbers. Then something happened. It wasn’t an overnight change, but the island started to feel like home.

So Saturday morning I enjoyed myself – really enjoyed myself. My morning began with a 1.5 hour pedicure at a hotel beach resort. There was no sense in ruining a good pedicure by running out into the sand right away, so I slept by their pool for the remainder of the morning. I basked in my solitude and just felt such intense relaxation listening to the ocean. If this was a good romance novel I would profess my undying love for Grenada (okay, for the beach), and perhaps fill in a rich description of my sensual morning in the sun. But World Cup is on (the flawless Argentinians are playing), and I’m a sucker for footballers.

The Sacrifice of Mary Rose

Med school hardships

Well, I finally pulled my first all-nighter here in med school. Yep, Friday night was a great party. Oddly enough, it began with my friends and me agreeing to call it an early evening so we could get up early the next day. So 12:30 came and went, 3 am passed us by, and by 4:30 I had offered to cook breakfast for the remaining of us (I really miss those sausage stands they have downtown after a night of good drinking). So, I made it to bed by 5:30am (my normal wake-up time was supposed to be an hour ago). Unfortunately, being the day person I am, by 10am I could sleep no longer, and was forced to climb out of bed to the sound of the AC repairmen banging on the door (yes, our AC was broken AGAIN).
It was a long and hard weekend. World cup soccer games were playing in the lecture hall, so I had to go watch them. And then the weather was so nice, which forced me to go the beach. For those of you concerned with my study habits, don’t worry I studied Saturday and Sunday night (I think).
On another note, the mosquitoes are back, and they still love me. I have a theory as to why I’m preferred to other people’s blood. My blood type is O-. This means that I have a lesser amount of surface proteins on my red blood cells. My theory is that digestion of my blood in a mosquito is akin to simple carbohydrate digestion in humans – sweet to taste, fast to absorb, and instantly pleasurable for the brain.

Anyways, here’s a pic of Megan and I from a Wednesday night soiree a friend had last week. There was no alcohol involved here for me (well, only a little), so I’m not making the deviant eyed face.

Odd combinations

While working out this morning I took a look around and it just hit me how funny I might look. Every morning it’s always me and 5-6 big black men in the gym all lifting. I don’t have the luxury of a “women’s area”, or a variety of machines to do exercises on. I do know that a lot of females feel intimidated or self conscious lifting in front of, or with the guys. Myself, I don’t particularly care. I find it much more motivating to be lifting in the presence of people who are busting their @$$ to squeeze out those last couple of reps, then to be surrounded by a bunch of pansies doing stiff-armed side lateral raises with 5 lbs dumbbells (if this comment somehow pertains to you then stop wasting your time). Likewise, I like to think that I provide a source of motivation for the men in the gym (not in the way that you are thinking!). I pretend that when they see me putting up respectable weights, they’re thinking “damn, I better starting working harder or a girl is going to be lifting heavier than I do”.

Anways, now that we only have two weeks to go, I have started the process of utilizing everything that’s left in the refrigerator and cupboard. This usually leads to odd combinations of food (last semester I even tried combining oatmeal and tuna fish together – horrible). This weekend’s combination was actually quite palatable so I’m posting up the recipe:

¼ c. canned corn
¼ c. canned black beans
2 c lettuce
3 oz. chicken breast chopped into small pieces
2 Tbsp chick pea paste (or hommous)
1-2 Tbsp barbeque sauce (I had honey hickory barbeque sauce in the fridge)
1oz. shredded skim milk mozzarella

Calories = 408 Protein = 42 g Carbs = 42 g Fat = 9 g Fibre = 8 g

Mix together beans, chickpea paste and barbeque sauce first, then add chicken, cheese and lettuce, and voila a tasty summer salad! It was the chickpea paste and barbeque sauce that seemed like an odd combination – but who knew - they actually taste excellent together!

How I met the prime minister of Grenada

Today the Prime Minister of Grenada kissed my hand – at the mental hospital that is. As part of our behavioural science class, field trips were planned to visit the mental hospital. I had no preconceived ideas of what I thought it would be, but it was definitely nothing that I would have expected. When we arrived, the guards let us in to the grounds. There were many people wandering around outside – some staring at us, others grinning and waving hi. We were brought indoors, and a nurse (wearing a completely white uniform) explained how things were run around there. There were approximately 3 males to every female, there are roughly 3000 patients that come and go from the hospital in Grenada (the only mental facility, so they are grossly understaffed).
We were first shown a ‘solitary room’ where a young patient was being kept because he was very confused about everything and needed some time to sort things out. Next, we were brought to the women’s room, where there were a number of females with bipolar disorder. A few that we met were constantly in the manic phase (the nurse informed us), and it was very amusing to interact with some of these women. It was very sad to see the conditions under which they had to live though – I suppose it would help being manic in those facilities. The doctor took us to an area set up with chairs in a circle, and then brought one of the patients in to interview. The patient entered the room, and took a seat in the circle in a rather regal way (his head was held high, he peered down his nose while he spoke, and his lips were slightly pursed - he was sitting very straight with his legs neatly crossed and his hands nicely folded in his lap). When he began to speak he would often unfold his hands and his fingers move around while he was talking (they call it 'pill rolling'). I could barely understand anything he was saying as he spoke very quickly, even when the doctor asked him to slow down a number of times. From what we were able to gather – this man truly thought he was the Prime Minister of Grenada, and that God had told him to smoke crack and drink alcohol. He recommended that we should all smoke. He then proceeded to tell us how he extricated Satan from his body, twice. He was also married a number of times, and had children with the Queen of England. He also described his wife/marriage as an abscess which he removed. When asked why he was in a mental institution, he said that it was his home, and was being temporarily used to accommodate some of the mental patients of Grenada. After we thanked him for speaking with us he started to leave, and then he walked over, and kissed my hand (there were 10 other people there with me) – it was very bizarre. He wasn’t classified as schizophrenic, but the doctor him described as having a schizophreniform disorder with some mania. He was also on a number of antipsychotic medications, but none of them seemed to be helping him.
In class we learn about many disorders, and characteristic symptoms of certain illnesses, but it is an unbelievable experience to actually meet people with these problems.

Another health fair

Three more weekends to go, and I’ll be on a plane flying home!!!! Six months is a long stretch to be here. What makes it even longer is spending 90% of my time in a small room which leaves me 6x6 feet of space left over to study in. Well, our air conditioning is officially broken. It was working intermittently for a while, but it completely stopped 2 days ago. Fortunately, my parents prepared me for this sort of thing, by turning the air conditioning off in the summer evenings so we would get used to sweating at night (it wasn’t that bad – my window faces east, so maybe that’s why mornings were such scorchers).
I helped out with a health fair this past Saturday, organized by the SGU branch of AMSA (American Medical Student Association). It was held at a local school about a 1.5 hrs drive to the north end of the island. This time around was better than the first health fair I did last semester. Instead of having students at each station set up, we took the patients around to each of the stations to do a general physical check-up – history, vitals, eye/ear, glucose, breast exams (if needed), and even sickle cell tests for the children (I haven’t learned phlebotomy yet). There were a few local doctors there to see patients with specific complaints. So all in all, it was a really great experience – something that I don’t think I’ll encounter in the US. It was sad to see how many people had cataracts – none of the locals ever wear sunglasses.
Anyways, today is a national holiday – its Whit Monday (not sure of its history). So, I’ll be catching up on some studying that was put off last week (I seem to have adapted a one week off, one week on study schedule this third semester), after I go to the beach of course…..

Mein Kampf

- catchy title, huh....

Last week in our behavioural class, we had a lecture on the stresses of medical students and doctors, and different problems that we are more susceptible to, and things we should look out for. This quote was given to us in the lecture:

“Physicians who sacrifice their personal lives during training believe that they will reap the rewards of a balanced life after graduation. Unfortunately, without skills to clarify and prioritize values or to develop a personal philosophy that integrates professional, personal, and spiritual domains, such balance does not easily occur.”
– Tim Quill

This really struck a note with me. It’s exactly what I believe. The attitude of ‘ok, I just have to get through this, then I can start living my life’ is something that I think that everyone will do at times, not just physicians (but apparently we are especially prone to it). Last semester when I was struggling with situational stresses, I had a hard time with certain habits while I was studying. My mom told me not to be so hard on myself because I’m in med school. True maybe, but life is going to be stressful, and if I can learn how to deal with certain behaviours in the more stressful of situations now, then theoretically I should be more prepared for other stressful life events (plus, being raised in a boot camp didn’t sympathize with any ‘hardships’…..jk). It’s a process, and I have times when I am better at staying balanced than others, but I am always improving, and most of all, I am learning what works for me.

Murphy's Law

Where does Murphy live you ask? In Grenada, yep right on campus. Nobody likes Murphy – lurking around the school, waiting for the most opportune moments to strike. Here’s an example of the havoc Murphy has wreaked lately:
When Raz came to visit, he brought me wrist wraps – as requested for bag workouts. Of course, after he left and I began to use the bag, the third day I went to the gym, the bag was on the floor in a corner. The hook from which it was hanging was broken off. Classic Murphy. Another Murphy incident – how it just so happens that on three consecutive occasions after finishing a long stretch of exams I arrive home to have the internet malfunctioning – when I actually want to talk to people! If you see Murphy lurking around, please give this character a swift kick in the pants, because the inevitability just can’t get any worse.

2 hours later……after writing yet another exam

I bite my tongue. The apartment smells funny, like something is burning, or like gas, and our AC isn’t running…….seriously….SERIOUSLY!

I'm baaaaaaack

Sorry, I apologize to anyone who’s been living out all of their med school fantasies vicariously through me, I know it has been a while since my last post. I do have good excuses though. Right before I finished my last exam, Raz came to visit for 10 days, so for the first week of third term I didn’t even crack open a book. Then when he left I spent the weekend moping without studying, so needless to say I’ve been trying to catch up on a lot of work, and we already have an exam on the stuff on Monday!
It is official though, I am now a second year medical student – it is unfathomable how much I have learned in the last 8 months. As much as I have learned, my knowledge is basically useless right now – how sad. To generalize the sum of my new knowledge I've attained over the past year it comes down to this:

I’ve learned how a normal, healthy human body grows, develops, and functions all the way from a cellular level. I’ve also learned about the rarest forms of diseases and genetic disorders, most of which I will probably never see in my life depending on which specialty I choose. After all this being said, I love it! For the first time in my life I feel that I am actually accomplishing something.

Anyways, this third (6 week) semester is turning out to be a drag. Behavioural science is interesting to listen to, but annoying to study for. Epidemiology, well lets just say I would much rather take a hammer to my thumb everyday than sit through the lectures. Tomorrow we start biostatistics (I already took this course in undergrad!), and in a couple of weeks, health policy, then jurisprudence (sure, its interesting, but comon’, do we really have to be tested on this stuff? It’s not going to help me retain the information given its context!).
Here are some new pics that Raz took while he was here, enjoy!
At the Beach

A sea urchin

Checking out the sunset

More incoherent study ramblings....and a bread tale.

So much for the square pants experiment, all I got were dried chewing gum hip flexors.
To the point where it takes me a couple tries to fully stand up- I felt like an 80 year old – ahh the joys of intense studying. I had a roll (as in bread roll) the other day when I ordered jerk chicken from the cafeteria. Normally I wouldn’t take one, but as I was desperately craving simple sugar, I decided to eat it. Let’s just say I can’t even remember the last time I had purely white bread – holy scheisse this stuff is good! I don’t remember it tasting this good. I felt like I was eating a donut or something. I don’t know if it tasted so amazing because of my current state of affairs, or if it always tastes that good. I was raised on whole wheat bread, and ate whole wheat bread sandwiches just about everyday for probably 15 years straight. In fact my first memory of lying to my parents was when I was six, and my mother asked me if I threw away the crusts of my whole wheat sandwich (whole wheat bread crust with peanut butter was gross then – its still gross now, unless toasted). I lied and said no – then I got the wooden spoon because they could tell I was lying. Well that sure taught me (I’m a much better liar now - JK).

How I keep my stress levels in check

1. I get a decent night’s sleep (at least 6-6.5 hrs/night is my absolute requirement, anything extra is decadent).
2. I get at least 30-60 min of cardiovascular activity a day (I’ve been doing a really fun circuit lately to shake things up a bit).
3. I avoid talking to other people (there are a lot of high anxiety stress balls around here who just ooze stress when you talk to them, so I make it a habit to jet out of class as soon as lecture is over).
4. I try not to buy food that makes me want to eat it. When I get semi-stressed I feel like snacking on carbohydrates that are mostly digested before they even reach my intestine. When I get really high anxiety, I don’t want to eat - unfortunately/fortunately I almost never get high anxiety (maybe if I avoided items 1 and 2, I could induce it).
5. I pray to not be stressed.
6. I munch on raw garlic (this is not just something our Balkan parents do). This helps with item number three – if the stress ball people attempt contact I lean in and give a breathy ‘whhhhaaaat’.
7. I complain to Raz about every little thing that irritates me (poor him – he’ll actually sympathize with me). I’m more of the ‘tough love’ type and would probably tell me to ‘suck it up’ and ‘deal with it’, and then drop and give me 50 push-ups.
8. I sniff my highli ---oops, I didn't mean to write that one.

Because its more interesting to say than "I'm Studying"

Hmmm, what have I been doing lately? I’m trying out a new experiment here – the goal is to remold my ass to look more like a chair. This involves sitting in a chair for long periods of time. To pass time while I sit in the chair I’ve taken to reading about physiology and neuroscience. I hypothesize this process should be almost finished by next Monday, but to be 100% sure, I’ll wait till next Wednesday afternoon. So, because I will be intensely busy with my experiment, I will be a little out of it for the next while.

All over the place

Woo hoo, two more exams to go! 15 days, and I’ll be finished second term – now don’t get too excited because I still have 6 more weeks here for a short 3rd term. Other exciting news – I’m going to Europe! I leave June 29th (I get home from Grenada June 26th) to Serbia for 10 days, and then Raz is joining me in Frankfurt and then we go to Paris and Spain (either Barcelona or Madrid – we have to decide soon). So exciting!
So, because of my minimal time between coming home and leaving again I needed to find somewhere to obtain a few wardrobe pieces for my trip. The downfall of being a perpetual student is that I own two outfit types – jeans and a t-shirt or scrubs, so needless to say, I needed some nice duds. Enter ebay, yep, that’s right, ebay. Whoa, what a rush bidding is – you may be thinking “uh oh she’s going get addicted to bidding" or something like that – but that’s where your misunderstanding ends. Ask any woman who finds a great deal on something good at a store. It’s a rush from knowing that I got a great deal, but with strategery (what? Bush thought it was a word too). It was a nice break this weekend to think about the best plan of attack for winning the items. Do I wait and watch contentedly or do I snipe at the last second? Let’s just say, I’m just about ready for Europe, and I haven’t even spent 100 USD (and many of my items are well-made quality brands – I feel so cool).
Totally another topic, but I’ve been putting avocado on my face, because I couldn’t eat it fast enough, and wow, it totally makes your skin glow. Okay, sorry for my schizoid blog today, but I have to go to class.

A Wormy Weekend

(to be read in a rather dramatic tone, sort of like a soliloquy)

I have spent the last 48 hours staring at protozoans, trematodes, cestodes, and nematodes. The message “Don’t feed cysts to dogs” feverishly echoes in my mind. As I prepare dinner my eyes scale over the chicken, and I wonder if my body is laden with the bradyozoites of toxoplasma gondii. The eggplant reminds me of cysts filled with E. muliocularis protoscolises, will I be its next intermediate host? A person enters the room, turns and opens the refrigerator. I hope there are no proglottids under their fingernails. Nothing is safe. “Out damned spot” – I wash my hands as though I am Lady Macbeth. I notice a mosquito bite on my arm, I pray the Wucheria bancrofti has not invaded my lymphatics. Elephantiasis. Elephantiasis.

This is my friendly neighborhood reminder, reminding you to wash your hands, wash and cook your food properly, because damn, there are some nasty bugs out there.
PS. Now that the summer is coming don’t go to the bathroom outside, use the latrines.

Another day, another island

This weekend we spent a day on St. Vincent’s apartment hunting for our 5th semester in January 2007. Because we were one of the earlier students to do so, we got our pick of the bunch. St. Vincent’s is a very beautiful island, with much more lush foliage and greenery than Grenada – unfortunately you can’t beat Grenada’s beaches. We ended up finding a very nice two bedroom apartment (each with our own big bathroom) a 5 minute walk from the campus. I’m very excited about the balcony too – its huge, and the view is great (we can see the ocean). It will also be good for some early morning yoga…..
It was our friend’s birthday this past weekend, so I made another cake – I was particularly proud of this one (you would be too considering the tools I have to work with!). So without further ado, here is a pictorial review of my weekend.

This pic of Julie and I is of St. Vincent's in the background (we are on a small beach island across from Vinnies.

I thought this fish was particularly ugly.... and really big too....but mostly ugly.

Here is the beautiful birthday cake - so what if it's for a guy - who doesn't like flowers anyways? (Those are lemon peel flowers in case you were wondering). Ziploc makes some pretty crappy piping bags (I broke three of them) - maybe that's why it says "sandwich bags" on the box....anyways, I was going to post some really nasty pictures from my parasitoloty class, but I didn't particularly feel like looking at worms and anuses again....

Who can resist yet another beautiful caribbean sunset.......ahhhhhhhh

The downside of having no pigment

Saturday morning we went to the market in downtown St. George’s. Sometimes I wish I didn’t stick out like such a sore thumb. But I have to say that the local white people that I have seen look very weathered by the sun….. Even though I’m totally not dressed like a tourist, and I don’t act like a tourist, I get treated as though I’m a tourist…..it sucks, but I guess I’ve gotten better with my bartering skills.

Some lines I’ve heard while I’ve been out and about:
- Can I help you with your shopping?
- I like white women, I like white women (this was being sung behind me while in the produce section). I was really tempted to sing back “I like white men, I like white men” but its better to ignore this sort of thing.
- Let me make you my queen (no its okay, I’m not really one for titles).
- What’s your number baby, can I call you? (Sorry I don’t have a phone-this is a somewhat valid response down here).
- And of course there’s the full elevator eyes (that’s always appealing).

Going into town would be the perfect getaway, if I could just get away from the uncalled for solicitation. It almost makes me want to shave my head, and grow abscesses on my skin. Most of the time I just ignore it. Except once, I was pursued to the point where I switched my right handed ring to the left and said I was married, because I was actually being followed around the grocery store while I was shopping. The audacity….

Things I am now thankful for....

I am thankful….
- that my father would poke me in the back all the time as a child and command me to ‘straighten-up’.
- for being chastised if I would ever drag my feet while I walked.
- for being lectured on nutrition if I missed a morning breakfast.
- for being bullied into cleaning my room all the time.
- for having a ‘no TV on weeknights’ policy.
- that I never had brand name labels and felt a little uncool all the time (still don’t, and still sometimes do).
- for being made to go to church school, choir, and dance for 8 years.
- for being asked every single morning if I washed my face.
- for being given responsibilities….like chores.

Let’s just say, I have 5 weeks left of term two….can’t wait till its over.

I’m not thankful for…..
Wretchedly embarrassing family bike-rides….with helmets (although it’s a pretty fun picture to paint while storytelling).

Immunology, fruit, and a little creativity.

Written on Saturday……
The figs of the south – the Guava. This has become my new food addiction. They’re sooooo good. And then there are all the guava by-products: guava jam, guava jelly, guava cheese….yummy. Its sad, because everything is so seasonal, that we’ll have it for like a month, and then it will be gone. I could track the number of months I’ve spent here by the different fruit I’ve enjoyed each month: August – Mango, September and October – Golden Apple, November - ???, December – grapefruit, January – Jamaican apples (didn’t like them very much), February – Starfruit, March – Papaya and Guava…..and of course there are always bananas year round! We have our final exam in Immunology on Monday. Although this course is kind of interesting, the manner in which the material was presented and the information was taught was excruciating. Wacky Jackie lived up to her name in a very bad way. I tried to keep an open mind, but sometimes by the end of a lecture I could seriously feel my blood pressure rising from suppressed rage. This woman was infuriating in the manner in which she presented the material. I can’t stand whiny people who try to justify everything they do (ie. spending 5 min of lecture time explaining why the right powerpoint, or components of it missing – I don’t care why its not there, just continue with the damn lecture). Have some gumption people!

Two days later
I just finished the immuno final! I’m so happy this course is over, maybe my feet will stop dragging with my other courses now. Up next, is Parasitology, and I took a peak at the lectures this past weekend – there are some great pictures! (I like being grossed out – it’s more of that horrifying fascination, when you can’t look away).
I’ve realized that since coming to Grenada, I lost a lot of my creative outlets. I don’t have any commuting to do – so that leaves out the 40 min. of singing I would get daily, and there are no piano’s around for me to play. So a lot of my ‘creative energy’ has been channeled into cooking. Today after my immunu final, I had a cooking marathon. I had bought some chickpea flour and was excited to try it out with spinach. I ended up baking some spicy chickpea-spinach patties that taste a little like falafel (minus the oily frying). Next, I ended up making some sort of noodleless (but not meatless) lasagna with eggplant, tomatoes, and ricotta. Then, I baked up my chicken for the next few days, along with some roasted pumpkin (yum). Needless to say, I am completely exhausted.

Two hours later
Ohmigod – its MANGOTIME here on the island (mangos are my favourite). I just came back to the dorm with 8 mangos. I think I’ll be a fruitarian for the next couple of days…….excuse me while I go power-up the blender….

Also, here’s is a random picture, of a beach day we had a while ago –

Titled Charlie’s Angel’s…..these are my roommates for next semester!

Coming out...and going to dinner.

Why the stigma with nerd? It was like the death sentence in high school to be called one. My mother always told me while growing up to marry a nerd, because they were the most successful in life. So I thought, why not just be the nerd, and make my own success (although I just may end up with a nerd – someone to watch Star Trek with........NOT).
Alright, I know how nerdy, and cheesy my blog can sound at times. I do admit, over the last few years I have gotten progressively nerdier (it was always there, certain things just brought it out more, it was suppressed it in high school). The only thing that’s really changed in my life, was that I started dating this guy in physics (what’s geeky about physics?)….and then during my master’s I was perpetually surrounded by hard-core science people (and we all know the social skills most of them have…..I kid I kid). So, I can’t help it, I’m a product of my environment. Also, while I was growing up my mom made me read the dictionary every night……..ok, really I’M JOKING (although yatz and nan might argue…..).

So I had a conversation with Raz, to really find out if I really turned into a nerd (maybe not the best person to ask….). This was his response:

No, don’t worry, you’re not a nerd, nerds smell like new computer parts.

Thank God, my new dual-core processor and the latest ATI All in Wonder videocard I ordered doesn’t come in for another two weeks – I’m saved till then.

Anyways enough silliness. A group of us went out for dinner last night for a friends’ birthday. One of the friends had picked a new restaurant that opened in a newly renovated hotel. Let’s just say that this place would’ve been more appropriate if I was already a doctor, had paid off my student loans, and was working as a plastic surgeon in Hollywood (ok maybe not that expensive), but still, very very steep. The meal was probably the most extravagant I’ll ever have in my life. I would describe the meal to you, unfortunately I can’t remember what the names of most of the plates were (it was a set menu). I’ve never had a dining experience where sorbet is served to ‘clear the palate’ before the main course was served, so although very interesting I felt a little out of place (although this restaurant was a little out of place being in Grenada......).

Discovery Channel

It was a very bizarre feeling. I felt as though I was an animal being observed in my natural habitat – sort of like those specials they have on the discovery channel. When I left the dorm this morning to go to the library, there was a large group of cyclists that had stopped at the university, and one of the guides was giving a speech (in a language that sounded either German or Dutch). Anyways, as I had to walk in front of them to get across the campus I felt as though I was some sort of animal being observed in my natural habitat. Since I couldn’t understand the guide, it kind’ve just flashed through my mind that he was saying:
“Look up ahead – native to these surroundings is the Student. This particular Student is a female, although both genders carry a large sack on their backs in order to transport their [young] books. Observe the abnormal curvature of the spine of many of these creatures from persistent use of the sacks…..”
It was a very weird feeling. Normally I cut across the lawn to get to the main street on campus, but today I took the long way around. Just like an animal knowing that its being watched, it tries to avoid the ‘people’.
My mom left early yesterday morning, and I felt another bout of homesickness wash over me. But, I have so much work to catch up on, that it shouldn’t last very long (although, our internet is not working AGAIN, so who knows). I did get to enjoy some nice beach days while she was here (and some fine dining), but I am jealous that I still have another three months before I get to go home.
Here is a pretty picture that Raz sent to me from his conference in Baltimore. He visited an aquarium and took some nice fish pictures……see if you can Find Nemo (seriously)!

Made it through Midterms

My mommy is here! And I’m done my midterms. The last two were very challenging, I think my brain uses so much glucose when I'm taking tests, that I'm just ravenous afterwards. That was three weeks of intense studying, on top of trying to keep up with classes and labs. I have a lot of catch-up to do from the last week. I was starting to get a little burned out by the end of the week, so I’m a couple of lectures behind in neuro, and quite a few in immuno. C’est la vie, I guess I won’t be switching out of the 4:30 am schedule I’ve adapted during these test times until I’m fully caught up. To quote the only country song I like:
You might think I’m crazy
A little to hardcore
But in my neck of the woods
I’m just the girl next door
I’ll refrain from quoting the next line. Sleeping is all relative, so I start to get annoyed when some people balk at my preference for early rising, instead of late night studying. Since my mother is here, I will definitely be enjoying some sun this week, especially after a 3 week stretch of no vit.D. It’s pretty sad how my mother arrived more tanned than I am now, and I’ve been down here again for the last three months (it’s her vitamins, I swear). During this last week my motivation for doing anything other than studying (even that was diminished) was low, but my penchant for cooking is returning, as there are a number of my specialties I told my mom I wanted to prepare for her. Although, I must brag a little about the delicious pumpkin ginger soup I made a couple of weeks ago……sometimes I wonder why I’m working my @$$ off.....damn the women’s liberation movement…..I could’ve had my MRS. degree by now. JUST KIDDING….

Pieces of my week

Here’s a conversation I had in with a fellow classmate last week:

Newbie: Oh so you’re from Canada, I know a couple of guys from central Canada, Ed and Joe ________.
Me in my head: Yes because all Canadians know each other.
Me out loud: Oh really where aboot in central Canada are they from? (I try and bring out my Canadian accent a bit).
Newbie: What are those things you have instead of states?
Me out loud: Provinces
Newbie: Can you name some, maybe I’ll remember.
Me out load: Sure, British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba…..etc etc etc.
Newbie: somewhere in Alberta I think.
Me in my head: Central Canada, eh?
Me out loud: Um, that’s a little more west than central…

Geez, its one thing to play the name game with a certain school…but common, an entire country?

So, last Monday after our immuno midterm we went out for some birthday celebrations. Here’s a pic of my roommates and I at La Luna. Okay, so here’s the thing, we haven’t had internet in our dorm room for the past two weeks. Promptly after it went out for, we called the DSL company (whose technical support HQs are in Antigua). Then once we were directed back to Grenada, we were given a “ticket number” corresponding to when we would be served (ie. someone coming out and taking a look at our connection). But, the way things work here in Grenada, you’re better off flagging down one of the cable guys if you can find them around campus. This is what we did, we found him by the end of week one with no internet. After telling us that there was a fault in the phone line, which had to be fixed be the phone company (not the internet company), he assured us it would be fixed by last Friday at the very latest. It has now been two weeks without internet. I called Paul (the internet guy) again on Friday, to which he gave me some spiel about how the phone company can only do the campus work on Saturday, so guaranteed, Saturday we would have internet. I still don’t have internet. It is so very frustrating. This is just the way things work in Grenada – kind’ve like how the grocery store may have pickled artichoke hearts, but no milk (oh my God it makes me want to pull my hair out at times!). So regretfully I can actually say: thankfully, I have exams right now, so I don’t feel as isolated as I am.

Tutoring with some meaty thoughts....

First I must exhale, I just finished midterm 1. Pat on my back for answering 105 MCQ's in 32 min flat (it was one of those you either know it or you don't type tests, no thinking required).

Okay, so I do a little private tutoring on the side for biochemistry. Sure, there are a few concepts that are a little more difficult to grasp. But, most of the real understanding is done with a little bit of elbow grease and organization. We are given pages and pages of handouts, all in paragraph style filled with facts that can be condensed into charts, graphs, and pathways. It just takes discipline and time to sort through everything and pick out the important points. The key point in what I’ve just said is discipline. From my tutoring experiences through the years, it is not conceptual understanding that most people have problems with. It is discipline and direction that most people lack, and I find that when tutoring, I am usually going back to basic skills of how to organize facts and information. (I can hear my mother’s voice going off on a tangent about students these days…..). The questions I receive are all answered in the lecture notes – if you’ve bothered to read them. I get irritated when I get questions concerning – is there anywhere all this is organized for me. (My inner monologue is saying – “no dumb@$$ the organization is part of the learning and understanding process – just do it”). But….if people want to pay me to say – drill multiplication tables into a 14 yr old, because when they were 8-13, too lazy to do the grunt work, or if people want to pay me to be personal laser pointers for their lecture notes, that’s fine too.

Yes I eat meat and yes, if forced to, I would kill and skin the animal myself before eating it. I did not have pets growing up (pets are for outside, and brothers are just as good play things that also teach responsibility). And if the bird flu does reach Grenada, I have no qualms about eating other animals such as lamb, and beef (baby pig is especially nice). Perhaps cave-personish of me, but it is the truth, I was raised on meat, and have been witness to meat in various stages before consumption. We dissected human beings for God sakes, I merely eating bird flesh to sustain my daily protein requirements. Okay, excuse me while I go pound my chest…..

Caffeine Diaries

Okay, I’m really sorry I didn’t have my weekly post of last night, but seriously, my week was uneventful, as uneventful can be – even here on a tropical island. Let’s see……tropical fruit of the week is the pawpaw, although I haven’t actually tried it, because its not ripe yet (not sure how long that will take). Starting next Monday, I have midterms for the following three weeks. Yep, that’s right 3 weeks. It’s also both of my roommates birthdays next week. Birthday’s are always nice (if its yours) but as the roommate, I am the designated cake getter (maker in my case), card signing oversee-er, nice things do-er. Anyways, here is the day by day diary of my caffeine experiment (you can see why I didn’t want to pursue research as a career).

Experiment
To cut coffee and caffeine out the diet for one week and observe behavioural effects.

Hypothesis
The affects of caffeine may be adding to already heightened levels of stress.

Results - Caffeine Diaries of the Subject
Day 1
Wake up time: 4:30am. Oh God, I just want to taste the coffee, it can be decaffeinated, I just love the warm aroma. I made it through the first three hours of the morning. Who am I kidding, I can’t quit caffeine cold turkey, so I had a cup of green tea during class.
Day 2
Wake up time: 5:00am. Coffee would be nice right now. Instead I’ll have half a frozen banana. Had green tea again during class again (its for the antioxidants, I swear).
Day 3
Wake up time: 6:30 am. Dammit, I slept in. No gym today before class. I skipped the green tea.
Day 4
Wake up time: 5:30 am. Damn Grey’s Anatomy I watched 2 episodes (season 2 the the ones with the bomb!) before I went to bed which was not until after midnight. No coffee, no green tea.
Afternoon response: *%$@ it, I’m having a coffee.
Okay, seriously, giving up coffee is not a lifestyle change I am willing to make. I don’t have withdrawl from the caffeine, I enjoy the taste. A rich flavoured bean joins the ranks of food favourites such as cheese and chocolate (hmmmm maybe I just like c-food words – I can think of a few others). You would too if you were brewing Second Cup Chocolate Truffle flavoured beans.
Day 5, 6, and 7 – Subject has abandoned experiment.

Discussion and Conclusions
As observed, the experiment failed miserably due time constraint of 24 hours in one day. The 24 hour limitation did not leave enough time available for total completion of all events (sleeping, lessons, studying with mentation, feeding, exercising). The subject began to disassociate which lead her to caffeine consumption to compensate…. .seriously.
Call person sharing 50% of my genetic information and obtain details of their coffee experimentation. Follow findings.

My inner monologue

This week just flew by, and I’m sort of glad it’s over. I mean, this coming week is actually really jam-packed busy, but I’m ready for a new start on Monday. I think I was a little stressed last week (even though I took a day off on Tuesday), and the best gauge of how stressed I am feeling is not a measure of my emotional well being, but of how much I feel like snacking and sleeping. Not good I know, but true. I am also going to start an experiment on myself and try not to have caffeine at all to see how it affects the snacking/sleeping cravings. I don’t have a lot of caffeine throughout the day, normally just a cup of coffee in the morning, and a tea in the afternoon. Occasionally, I’ll have a diet Coke (I never drink pop at home), which I did on Saturday, and I think that it made me feel very snacky and irritable. Unfortunately, this means that I’ll have to cut out my afternoon green tea, if I’m to examine all caffeine effects. I guess I’ll have to get some more antioxidants elsewhere.

Since I’ve started this blog, I find that I’ve developed an inner monologue that sort of sounds the same way I write. It’s similar to how the lead character on ‘Scrubs’ talks to himself. Sure, maybe a little odd, but most of the time its me thinking about how small, mundane day to day things can be expressed with a little pizzazz. A lot of my inner monologues are sarcastic comments that I can never say out-loud to most people, but make for good blogging. For example, in many instances I find that I field questions in the nature of why some things happen the way that they do. Most of the time these are very valid questions, but in some instances, the details have all been deduced down to the smallest possible building blocks, and all that is possibly left for explanation are the physical properties that make up atoms! In my head, I am thinking – “I’m not sure, but maybe on my next ‘Dear God, it’s me Margaret’ session I’ll remember to ask that question…….geez”. Of course, out loud, it probably wouldn’t sound as amusing as it did in my head…… Anways at least another week has passed when I’ve been able to express the finer details of my life in a few more words than sleep, eat, study, workout, repeat.

Heaven on earth

It was surreal, possibly one of the most stunning places I've been. Words cannot describe how gorgeous this place was. Today was Independence day on the island, so we had a day off from our classes. A group of us decided to go to the La Luna resort for lunch and their beach. This resort was just breath-taking. Apparentely it has been featured in a number of travel magazines, and Sports Illustrated or Victoria's Secret has shot swimsuit spreads at this place. What a decadent day we had. Blue skies, warm water, white sand, and the hot sun melding into a light breeze - the day was perfect. I was not able to take pictures of the resort to justify the magnitude of its divinity, but here is a nice beach shot to make you want to throw your shovels down and jump on the fastest plane to come visit. Anyways if you want to see some pics of the resort, here is the website: www.laluna.com

More Pictures!

This is a pic of Julie (my roomate) and me up on the terrace in the Caribbean House on Campus. The water looks so blue from up here!

This is a picture of part of the library. All the buildings on campus pretty much have this similar type of architecture. I think the library is one of the nicest - from the outside that is, the inside has no study space!)

This is Baxter, he was found whimpering behind a laundry machine in our dorm. He was taken in by some friends. He is a-dor-a-ble! Yes, I know I'm exceedingly white in this picture (let's just say it was taken when I first got back to the island...).

A funny thing happened while taking a nap....

Well, Julie and I just had our first Biochem DES (department of educational services) session last night. It was a closed group session for people in AEP (Academic Enhancement Program). Overall it went well, we split up the material and did some practices questions with them. Me, being the ultimate critic of myself thought I could’ve done a better job with some of the material, but alternatively I’ve got a lot of my own work as well. I’ve got my Genetics final on Monday, so it’s going to be an intense weekend, but I’m up for it.

An odd thing happened to me yesterday; I decided to take a 1/2hr nap, and because there was still a lot of light in my room, for the first time in my life, I put on a sleeping mask. This was possibly the most restless sleep I’ve ever had. I kept having these dreams in which I would be trying to find my friends, or being dropped in a maze, and I was blind! I was drifting in and out of REM voluntarily to get myself out of these dreams. After 40 min. had passed, I still did not feel rested and I had enough. The after-math of my blind dreams left me with a little unsettling anxiety. And I got to thinking about fears and anxieties and came up with my own personal list……I like making lists……everyday I follow a list….
Now, I’m not talking about anxiety to the point where one would get chest tightness, or breathing problems. I’m just referring to a little heightening of the senses to the surroundings (in a negative way of course).

Times when I think a little anxiety/fear is reasonable:

Before I’m about to take a test (but not too much)

Finding gross black hairs on the floor after the cleaning lady has cleaned.

Not getting enough sleep (there’s a fine balance between tired and non-functional)

During the last repetition in a set of squats (I worry that I’ll have to crawl out from under the weights – its not that bad, I’ve done it before, but its kind of embarrassing).

Times when I’d like to think anxiety/fear is NOT reasonable, but I still get them:

Being called upon and not having the right answer (this is why I hated kindergarten).

Feet (I fear them touching me – my mother can attest to this)

Being late for ultimately trivial things (honestly, what’s the worst that could happen).

When it’s late into the night in my house [in Canada], and sometimes I’m still afraid of ghosts (I have some good theories on why this might be).

Chez Dana

I made pizza today in the toaster oven. I woke up at 5:30am to make the dough, then while working out I let it rise. When I got back from class at 11:00am, I assembled the pizza’s, and by noon, my friends and I were having freshly baked pizza, on homemade crust. Damn I’m good. The pizza was phenomenal. I made one all veggie, the next half veggie-half turkey with both mozzarella and gorgonzola, and the third using barbeque sauce. Here is a picture of me with the first two pizza’s.

Medical Ethics

Throughout my time here at St. George’s we have a medical ethics/clinical skills class that run over the course of 6 semesters. So far we’ve learned about ethical reasoning in the context of patient care, disclosure, informed consent, and medical research. We’ve had small discussion groups over topics ranging from patient assisted suicide, abortion, religious practices and beliefs, and intersex babies. The discussions were always very stimulating, and it’s interesting to hear other people’s opinions and assertions on the various topics. There is one thing (okay, well two, but one is a minor complaint) that particularly bothers me about some of the strong religious opinions some of the students have had in my small group. I can honestly say that I do respect everyone’s opinion, but I have a difficult time accepting some of the reasoning (or lack thereof) behind the more extreme religious beliefs. For example, last week, we were discussing our thoughts on patient assisted suicide. There were a couple of students who out right said absolutely not, they do not believe in it, or would they ever even consider a patients request for it, no matter what the situation was. This part was fine, that is their opinion, and I respect that. I don’t think that as a physician I would be able to participate in patient assisted suicide either, BUT, depending on the situation (and law for that matter) I can’t definitively say that I be opposed to it. I would have no problem recommending my patient to somewhere that did endorse patient assisted suicide, and had a criterion in place for the decision. My problem with these very religious opinions is that these people would not even endorse disclosing to their patients other physicians/centers that would support it. In my opinion, I feel that this physician would be forcing their own beliefs and values onto their patients. Alternatively, maybe it’s these same type of people that keep a balance to our society….

On a lighter note, I finally made it out to the beach today and the waves were gigantic! Okay, maybe they were not big enough for surfing, but definitely big enough to dissuade me from going for a swim. I waded in couple of metres, and attempted to keep my balance but I was repeatedly knocked over and sucked under, only to resurface as a walking sand creature. I think I'll be trying to wash out this sand for a few days....

A Side of Cheese

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS CHEESE AND OTHER CHEESE ADDITIVES. IF YOU HAVE AN AVERSION TO CHEESE, STOP NOW AND CLOSE THIS BLOG. If glanced at, side effects should not last longer than 1 week, if your condition persists consult your second term med student.

Ode to the toaster oven

The frying pan had lost it shine,
The foreman grill was bland
there’s only so much one can do
with a plain black pan.

And then it came into my life
This miniature little toy
My culinary skills were honed
My tastes were wrought with joy

Chicken tenders, fish fillets,
Stuffed peppers with some thyme
I haven’t tried the chocolate cake
I’ve heard it is sublime.

For those of you all missing out
It heats up like match
If this toaster was a boy
He’d be a fire-ey catch.

And so I must return again -
to study, its so mundane
and if I continue with this rhyme
I’m sure to go insane.

Okay, but seriously, this toaster oven is awesome! I’ve been cooking with it almost everyday the last week, and I get excited thinking about new things I can make in it. I guess this is what happens when you don’t have much outside class and studying…..okay, lets see what else has happened this week in Grenada:

New in exotic fruits this time of the year is the carambola aka starfruit (known for its star-like shape when sliced). It’s definitely a favorite – so much so, that I have chopped and frozen a bag of them. One never knows when something is going to go out of season around here.

Recent advances in the class schedule this week brought on the introduction of immunology, featuring the so-called professor “Wacky Jackie” – I have yet to form an opinion of her. I usually appreciate (rather than complain about) the eccentricities of a charismatic professor.

Women in Medicine organization has started up again this semester, and I’m expecting more events and involvement than last semester (we have a new executive council with a little more time on their hands).

Weather has been partly cloudy with scattered showers, and highs reaching 28 C. I’ll go test out the water temperature this weekend when I get a chance (just in case this was what you were skimming the post for).

Man of the House?

Yes it’s true. When living with roommates I find that you create a microenvironment reminiscent of the family. There’s always the ‘mother-hen’, the ‘father-figure’, and the ‘annoying brother/sister’ (no one has adopted that role yet). Anyways, the other night while studying I was interrupted with a knock on the door to open a jar of pickles. I thought to myself – why wouldn’t you just run the jar under a hot tap, instead of interrupting me (not that I mind being able to display feats of strength). But then I got to thinking about when I lived at home, if my father or brother were around I would just ask them for the same thing.

The other day I tried to remove the thermostat, and put it in a better location at the suggestion of my father (the settings don’t function and the thermostat is sitting right on the AC unit). So I pulled out my multitool (20 tools in 1 – beat that), and began to try to pry it off without any luck, and a lot of trepidation about ripping the wires completely out of the thermostat (you never want to be stuck down here without AC). So I screwed the thing back on, and began putting away my multitool when I heard a roommate incredulously ask – ‘what is that?’ (Reminds me of childhood days, when I would have a little ethnic food in the lunchbox). Okay, so maybe I’m not that useful in my ‘family role’. Another incident occurred in trying to tape up the AC vents which are situated so high along the wall, that even while standing on a chair, I still wasn’t high enough (and I’m the tallest roommate). So with no ladders that we could borrow, moveable tables to fit through our door, or anyone around that had excess growth hormone in their childhood, there was only one thing left to do: squat one of the other roommates while they’re standing on my shoulders so they could reach it (make sure you do your squats, you never know when they may come in handy).
It’s funny though, because if my father, brother, or Raz were here, I would simply leave those problems for them to solve. I guess when you know there is someone there to depend on for certain things; you subconsciously take advantage of it.

Alright, enough of my fluffy reflections. This week was definitely better than the last. I’ve gotten into ‘study mode’, have begun developing somewhat of a routine (I’m addicted to routines wherever I can make them). I am going to be a tutor for the Department of Educational Services, facilitating biochemistry for 1st semester students (I get paid a whopping 5 USD an hour), and I’m getting certified this weekend to be a CPR instructor so I can make a little cash on re-certs in hospitals when I go to the states (this is really annoying because my Canadian certification as an instructor, apparently doesn’t count for anything!). Anyway, I'm off to a physio study group yippee!

Back on the Rock

Well, I’m back. I apologize to those (mostly Nick) who have anxiously been awaiting my next post. In my defense though, we currently do not have internet access in our dorm. This week has possibly been one of the longest weeks ever. Thank God its over! When I arrived back in August for my first semester, there were so many new things to take in, people to meet, beaches to go to……well, this semester I arrived with the ‘been there, done that’ attitude, and the nagging thought of “Oh God, I’m going to be here for 6 months” (perhaps this is what has prolonged my first week). Anyways, to those that are interested here is a run down on the courses I will be taking for the next 4 months:

Neuroscience – supposedly very challenging, has been rumored to fail even the honour students.
Physiology – I was so excited to start this course, until we started the first few lectures and the prof started bringing back some nice physics and chemistry equations from undergrad (I thought I would be done with this stuff!).
Genetics – this course runs for only 4 weeks. Its interesting, but way too general, so in trying to work out the basis of certain concepts, often more information is needed than we have been provided with.
Immunology – this begins a few weeks in, right before genetics ends.
Parasitology – this course is also only 4 weeks long, but is the last 4 weeks of second semester.
Clinical Skills/Professional Development – Not bad, but the department is poorly organized, which leaves the class constantly questioning “what are we supposed to do? Where are we supposed to be? What does that test cover?”

So, on Friday night we went out to celebrate a friends birthday at the Beach House restaurant (excellent food, although a little pricey). This was followed by a party at ‘the White House’, which is just a white coloured house located right outside the campus gates, and is rented out by a number of our friends. I almost did not go out on Friday, but I know from experience, that staying in by myself would make me even more miserable. In retrospect, perhaps it would’ve been a better idea for me to stay in, as I had my first encounter with the effects of excess tequila……and let me say that Saturday, I felt as though I had some sort of stomach virus, complete with chills, sweats, porcelain worship, and bed confinement. So needless to say, I am completely ready to study hard, everything is out of my system – literally.